I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
