At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You don't make any sense
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