Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
