Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
