ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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