We're like a lot better than the average bears
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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