one two three fourrrrnication!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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