I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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