who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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