exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
