Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
