I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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