he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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