I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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