MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
