I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
