Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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