you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
