the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
