Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
