I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
