It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
