I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
