the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Randomize
