I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize