Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
did i just pee glitter
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
