I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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