How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
