I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
