cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
