i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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