i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
