based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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