You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
