This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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