id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
