im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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