I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize