do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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