she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
