i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
