Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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