You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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