Got a toothbrush?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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