i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
