i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
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and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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