I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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