im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
