just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
