He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just google imaged poop.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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