Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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