I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
