can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
