i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
